My first trip to Ubud came out of nowhere – I was walking around the lake by my house after watching Eat, Pray, Love, and thought to myself ‘I’m going to go to Ubud like Elizabeth Gilbert did’. So I booked a trip and was on my way.

Turns out, she never went to Ubud. I have no idea where in Bali she went. I have no idea where I got the idea of going to Ubud from, but if you know me you know that I follow all the signs I get.

One in Ubud, I spent 10 days meditating, tai chi-ing, shamanic breathwork journeying, ecstatic dancing, and swimming in the spring pool after dark by myself by the edge of a lush rainforest.

Despite knowing nothing about Ubud, I know I was supposed to go there.

One day, I asked my driver if he could take me to the psychic that was on Eat, Pray, Love. His response was rather unenthusiastic – it turns out this is what all westerners do. Katut had passed away, and his son had taken his place.

I went anyway, determined to find more pieces of the healing puzzle.

He read my palm, shared with me a myarid of things I can’t remember any longer. What stood out was his emphasis of my being too ‘in passion’, which my driver later translated to me as meaning; I am impulsive.

I was impulsive, and this had just been reflected to me from my chiropractic/kinesiology guru (someone I saw monthly to bounce healing ideas off). He suggested I was too messy with my energy, following every bread crumb wherever it went and to the extreme. He was right. I was impulsive. I needed to get grounded.

From taking the frog poison Kambo in the forest to ‘purge’ my lymphatic system, to ayahuasca in the mountains, Ubud which was a 2-hour drive north of the airport in the middle of nowhere Bali, to Joe Dispenza retreats which knock your feet right off the ground. I needed to learn how to be more grounded.

The lesson from this is, pretty much any time you have an experience there is something in it that you can take away and learn from. Once you set your intention to connect to something bigger or ask the universe to support you with something (in my case, I had asked for healing), it speaks. You just need to learn how to listen.

People often ask me how I healed, as if there was a modality I followed or a place I went where I got healed. It’s not the case. It was a piece from many places, and this was just one very small – yet powerful and transformative – piece.

Jen x