Much of what we are taught in terms of dream life creation is around our thinking – think positive, choose to be in a good mood, avoid anything negative. 

Let me frame things in a more powerful way for you – there is no such thing as positive and negative, and everything is here to teach us something.

Without sadness we would not appreciate joy, without pain we could not appreciate pleasure. Everything exists on a spectrum and we will titrate from one extreme to the other at some point in our lives. 

The true success lies in how you handle this titration as it is presented to you. 

With emotional waves, we then act differently. When we feel low we lean towards lower thoughts, when we feel high we don’t worry too much at all. Much of the mental chatter goes away. 

So how then, do you change your thoughts, if these thoughts are drummed up by the state of your being, and how you feel? It’s a difficult pursuit for any human being to override the state of the body with the thoughts of the mind. 

The same goes for goal setting – simply writing a list of what you want isn’t going to change the state of your being. Your actions are key. Who you are being is what is going to attract abundance, success and love into your life. Not what you are thinking, ok? 

So how do you harness this?

In terms of goal pursuit, work out who has what you have achieved and analyse what they do. Rather than thinking about how they are lucky and you are not, realise that they are just making different choices. This is the hard truth. 

People tell me I am lucky I can draw, sing, and own a business. Luck has nothing to do with it and I became proficient at these things against all odds. I choose to be the person who puts in the work every day, even when my body and mind were telling me it wasn’t worth it, that I would fail, and that I don’t deserve it. 

I can sing and draw because I practised it, and I own a business because I have dedicated my life to it. The same happens to my clients – rather than receiving praise for how well they do, they get criticism around how their ‘special circumstances’ allow them to do it. But they don’t have any special circumstances, they simply leveraged what they had and what they did not have, they worked for. 

We do all have different starting points. For some of us, we are given a house deposit to enter the market. Others have to save for it, maybe for years before they can buy. I did. But I have heard time and time again that I am lucky because I have a house. Again, I made choices – not travelling, not drinking cocktails, not buying clothes – I saved all my money to buy a house. I was being the person who owned a house, and accepting the fact that no one was going to do it for me. 

If you are a stuck in a victim mindset, nothing you want will come to you. Only what you are being will come to you. So if you are being a victim, things will not go well for you. 

So back to analysing those that have what you want

Find out or ask them; 

• What they did?
• What they believe?
• How they achieved it?
• What sacrifices they made? 
• Where did they start from?

And from there you can decide if you really want that thing, or if you want to remain where you are. But you are not a victim, you are choosing to be the person who doesn’t have what she wants, because you don’t want to do what it takes. 

Another example I like to illustrate here is regarding weight loss. Many women like to talk about how they can’t lose weight, and hate their bodies, yet rarely do they do anything about it. Rather than being the person who has a fit and healthy lifestyle, they are the person who jumps on to seemingly easy quick-fix programs, hoping to get the end result without being the person who actually lives it. 

So I tell them to either diet and do it properly, or accept themselves for what they are. No one loves you more or less due to your body shape or size, they love who lives within the body. Choose who you want to be and be happy with that choice.  

So, you need to be someone who can achieve your goals. This is how you make progress in the long term – not simply by thinking about it or by asking for it. 

If this article was helpful, I suggest you check out Mindset Mastery, my online program for mastering your mindset practically, materially, and energetically!

Much love, and happy exploring!

Jen x