Alignment over Hustle

Alignment over Hustle

Read time: 7 minute read

Being in the business game I constantly see coaches and entrepreneurs talking (or shall we say bragging) about their ‘hustle’ – how hard they work, how many hours they put in, what time they get up in the morning, etc. 

Is hustling really all its cracked up to be? How does it apply to life in general?

Lets compare the two… 

Hustling is a masculine energy; it’s about pushing, controlling, forcing, and working things into place. It’s about doing whatever it takes. It’s a cognitive (thought-centred) process, where you observe what others do, think about how to beat them, and strive to outwork. 

Aligning is a feminine energy, where you lay goals out, and ensure they’re congruent with you personally. It’s about bringing who you are, and what you want to do together, so they can work along side each other. Sounds like the winner already, right? 

I think it depends on the level of success you want to achieve in that particular activity, and the kind of person you are, but assuming we are all women here I am going to propose that you get aligned, before you hustle. 

I learned this lesson the hard way, always working harder, longer, and more effectively than all of my competitors. Yes it brought me a lot of ‘success’ at the time, but it lead me down a pretty dark road to burnout, which left me back peddling in the end. So here I am making sure you don’t make this same mistake!

I learned that simply working hard wasn’t enough. I needed to bring alignment into the mix. 

Alignment + Hustle = Success

Success is not just about beating the competition. It’s about liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. We can thank Maya Angelou for that quote. So before moving forwards you need to have a pretty good idea of the goal posts you’re aiming for.

If you simply want to feel happy, then alignment is literally all you need. If you want to excel however, you need to hustle once you have your aligned and your goals are in place. It’s a constant push and pull between the two energies; we align, then we hustle, and repeat this process over the long haul until our goals have been achieved. 

How to apply this ‘alignment over hustle’ principle 

In general nutrition/health/weight loss goals, you align by making sure you’re losing weight for the right reasons, and that you are using a method that works with your body. That is enough to get you great results. The hustle comes in when you’re partaking in a competitive sport such as bodybuilding, or wanting to lose that extra 5% in the end. 

In training/exercise, you align by finding a training regimen that you enjoy, is at your experience level, and is well balanced. Working with your body, and not overstepping your physical capacity, is essential. You hustle when you want to excel, after you have laid the foundations down

In business and at work, you align by working out what you want to gain from your business, regardless of outward ‘success’ markers. You hustle once you know why you are doing what you’re doing, and where you want to end up.

In relationships, I believe alignment is really the only thing you need. If you have to hustle someone to be your partner or friend, or hustle your family to do what you want, they’re probably not your people.

Finding alignment, with yourself and your goals

Finding alignment means finding out who you are on a deeper level. Remember that finding alignment is essentially a feminine energy, and feminine energy is PASSIVE. It works better when it’s aligned first. 

STEP 1: You have to get quiet. Take a break from the ‘noise’ of the outside world. Meditate, go to the beach, or sit alone in your favourite café. Tuning out the outside world is the only real way you can work out what is going on for you, on the inside

STEP 2: Ask yourself some deeper questions; is what I’m doing making me happy? Do I have a clear goal? Am I energised, or exhausted? Do I feel supported, or isolated? Be honest with yourself here. 

STEP 3: Work out what you can let go of, and what to focus your attention on. Work out how you are going to ensure you don’t get caught up in other peoples ‘hustle’, and stay aligned with yours. 

Simple, right?

If you find yourself cringing at the idea of this whole suggestion, it’s a sure-fire sign you need to do a lot of work in this area!

Without alignment, we risk losing connection with our deeper wants and needs. We risk going a million miles in the wrong direction. We risk never discovering, or losing sight of our own unique gifts and talents. We also risk burning out and having to backpedal, which in itself is extremely stressful. Been there, done that.

Jen x

Creating a New Years Resolution that Sticks

Creating a New Years Resolution that Sticks

Read time: 10 minute read

 

Hi all,

I got such a good response to my recent business change announcement that I thought I would start my blogging early! With the popular topic of…

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

Personally, I don’t set them. Not in the traditional sense anyways. I tend to opt for introducing changes to my life whenever I feel they’re needed. I used to be an avid believer/setter of new years resolutions though – from getting a summer body, quitting alcohol, junk food, or coffee, to quitting being treated like crap, etc.  So I know a thing or two about why these kinds of ‘resolutions’ don’t work. 

As much as we want them to, patterns and behaviours don’t go away just because we decided. They are way more complex than that. 

So why don’t they work?

In short, we are highly programmable and habitual beings that act unconsciously, most of the time. We are the result of everything that we have witnessed and experienced throughout our lives up until this point. The habits and behaviours we exhibit are ingrainedin us. Yes we can choose to change, but without the right approach our mind and body just goes on with the same old pattern it is used to.

We often get insights about what we want to change. They’re like visions toward a more powerful, wholesome you. That’s all they are though. these insights are not powerful enough to make us actually change. They are there to plant the seed

True change requires effort, persistence, self-awareness, and patience. 

Lets take the ‘I will never drink alcohol again’resolution as an example;

You set the intention to change your habit of consuming alcohol. You have identified that you’re using it to calm down or numb, and you don’t want to do that anymore. You are tired of being that person who relies on a drink, and want more self-control. 

1st January passes, and you succeeded! Good job. 

2nd January passes, and you succeeded again! Even better 😉 

3rd January passes, and maybe the 4th, 5th, 6th.  Still going strong. 

As you continue with it, you begin to feel a little restless. You’re not feeling great. It’s Saturday night, your friends are drinking, and you don’t want to be left out. Maybe you had a fight with a significant person in your life and you’re struggling to settle the emotional stress that lingers on afterwards. 

You think, to hell with it! I love alcohol, alcohol loves me, everyone else is doing it and I’m not technically an alcoholic, so – it’s okay. You justify to yourself why this needs to be a part of your life again, instead of sticking it out for the long haul like you promised. 

Once the initial drink wares off, you’re disappointed. Why cant you do anything right?

Because the alcohol, just like every other habitual behaviour or addiction has an emotional connection along with itWhether it’s belonging, numbing, relaxing, feeling like a queen, avoiding boredom, it doesn’t matter. There is an emotionalreason behind your need for alcohol, and your body/mind will make an excuse to bring it back in. 

Unless you deal with the emotion, or the reason you’re doing what you’re doing,you will constantly revert back to it, justify sabotaging it, and go back to your old ways. You’ll still feel bad about it on some level, but you’ll wait until the next significant time or date, before you decide to try again.  

So the key to understand here is that your emotions drive your choices, and they are more powerful than your decision to change. 

What’s the solution?

The first and most powerful way to approach a resolution is….. DRUMROLL…. to deal with the emotion head on. Given the fact that this is a confronting idea and out of my scope of practice, I’m going to suggest a method that is much more practical. 

I recommend that you choose a theme, or statement for the New Year, and nut out some practical ways to approach it. So here is how that works; 

STEP 1: Choose a theme 

A theme is like a blanket-statement, written as a commitment to yourself. It can be as broad or specific as you like. Here are some examples; 

  • “I commit to finding two things that I am really good at this year”
  • “I commit to taking good care of myself”
  • “I commit to finding a new career path”
  • “I commit to engaging in frequent physical activity”
  • “I commit to educating myself about self-love and self-mastery”
  • “I commit to making time for myself and learning more about who I am”
  • “I commit to making new friendships with people who _________”,
  • “I commit to embracing all aspects of myself without fear” (that’s my one for 2020)

Overthinking it? Simply put, your theme should be whatever floats your boat and bugs you the most about yourself.From here, you need to set some clear boundaries about how that may look. So taking the example of ‘I commit to taking good care of myself’. Here’s how it looks;

STEP 2: Write down your ‘WHY’ * This is the most important step *

If you have no reason for the goal that comes with an emotional drive, there is no reason to change. Your why should be the emotional benefit that you gain by honouring your commitment to yourself. 

STEP 3: Write down all the ways in which you believe you aren’t doing this. 

  • I eat takeaway every night. 
  • I am constantly exhausted but haven’t looked further into it
  • All my friends are into partying, and aren’t healthy
  • I am dependent on coffee. 

These are just examples, but write down literally everythingyou do, that you feel is incongruent to the statement ‘I take good care of myself’. Make sure you write down what youwant, not what you think it should look like. 

STEP 4: Brainstorm the things you can introduce into your life to counteract these incongruent habits you have

  • I will eat home-cooked dinners 4 nights per week
  • I will see a health practitioner once per month and implement what I can in relation to my fatigue
  • I will seek out new friendships with those who are interested in health and fitness 
  • I will limit cut my coffee consumption back by 1 shot per day. 

STEP 5: Assess whether they are achievable, and come up with a game plan!

Grab your list of commitments, and ask yourself, as you go down them individually, if they feel achievable for you. If they don’t, or they feel too full on, then reduce them a little. You don’t want to set yourself up for failure. Remember if they intimidate you, they’re probably good choices. Change is nevercomfortable

You may need to enlist the support of a friend, your family, a professional, or sign-up to a group, etc. Do whatever you need to do to get the ball rolling. 

So that’s it. You need to spend a little time on it, but it’s sure to get you headed in the right direction. 

Why this method works; 

  • It’s positive, and all change requires a positive drive. 
  • It’s not too specific – there is room for movement and growth
  • You’re likely not to fail, thus avoiding the ‘I’m useless’ trap
  • You can approach it with bite-size chunks depending on your comfort and speed
  • You can revisit it throughout the year, add more commitments underneath it, or change directions where needed. 

Word of warning:Don’t get caught up thinking that if you don’t commit to ‘quitting’ a bad habit cold turkey that it won’t go away. Small steps towards change allow the process to occur more organically. You let go completely when you’re ready, rather than ripping off the band-aid in one go. 

So, that’s it! Sorry its not an easy solution. True change is never easy!

If you found value in this, please share. It takes a couple of hours to put together good content, so the more people who get to benefit from it the better! 

Jen x

Self Belief and Goal Setting

Self Belief and Goal Setting

Read time: 2 minute read

Positive thinking evokes more energy, more initiative, more happiness.

It is said that whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. Why is it so important to understand this when trying to achieve your goals??

Put simply, everything that you believe is what happens to you. If you believe you can’t achieve something, you’ll find reasons why you can’t. If you believe you can achieve something, you’ll find things that reassure you that you can.

Believing you can’t do something is negative, and believing you can is positive. Positive beliefs bring positive energy, people, feelings and reassurance. It gives you the focus and determination to keep going.

So, if you find yourself struggling to start, or remain consistent on your fitness journey (or any other goal you’ve set for yourself), then look inside yourself and see what you truly believe deep down. Do you believe you can achieve it? Or does it feel like the goal you’ve set is too far out of reach? If so, then your goal setting is the first thing you need to work on.

Maybe your goal is so big in the beginning that you can’t imagine yourself reaching it, so you need to break it down into smaller, achievable pieces in order to bring about the natural belief that you can get there. You want your goal to inspire you, but not overwhelm you.

If you believe something is impossible, you will make it impossible. So it’s really quite simple, if deep down you know you can achieve something, then you definitely will

 

 

 

 

 

Transformation is yours for the taking. 

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