From the day we are old enough to recognise that our bodies seem to be of extreme importance – through the media, for jobs, at school, in magazines, when we are buying clothes – the body comparison begins. We then spend the rest of our lives trying to boost our body confidence by moulding ourselves and our bodies into that which we felt was ‘better’ or ‘more acceptable’ in society.

Enter, diet culture.

As a trainer who has supported hundreds of women through body transformation and helped over 100 women achieve stage-lean bodies for bodybuilding competitions, I can tell you – no one body is the same and comparing our bodies to another woman’s will never lead us to body confidence.

Quite the opposite, in fact!

Take these three, for example. Amelia (left) will never look like Jenn (middle). And Jenn will never look like Kristen (right). Their genetics are totally different.

Furthermore, they have different struggles when it comes to building that dream body – Amelia is tall and lean, and struggles to put on muscle. Jenn is shorter and struggles to lose fat on her legs, and Kristen puts muscle on really easily, yet struggles with losing weight due to a few chronic, irreversible health conditions.

So if they wanted to look like ‘someone else’, it would never happen.

Each of these women did well at their competitions, as they are assessed on an individual basis. Bodybuilding is all about deciding which woman on stage did the best with the cards she has been dealt (assuming she is in stage-ready condition).

Many women are caught up in Fitness Influencer programs and apps, hoping they can look like their idols if they train like their idols – you can’t. Your idol looks like she does because of her genetics, and in this current social media climate, you only make it big on social media if your genetics are pretty special, because that’s the only way to stand out in the crowd.

Fitness is about being your best YOU. That’s where you find your body confidence. Comparing will have you thinking you’ve got it all wrong, and it’s highly likely you will give up.

Don’t do that! Take the time to work with your body. See what you are capable of. Train for health and wellbeing. Eat to nourish, and train to build muscle and you’ll be amazed at the inner transformation which will lead to increased body confidence and overall wellbeing.

For me, I struggled with this for most of my career as I dedicated my life to looking a certain way (something I dreamed up whilst consuming fitness magazines in the 90’s and early 2000’s), only to realise I would have needed to be someone else, or take drugs to get even close to what i had dreamed of.

So for my clients, I save them the stress by ensuring they understand what I am outlying in this post and ensuring they focus on their own progress, training age, and capacity.

At least half of my clients have had better genetic potential than I do, and this has been amazing for my coaching business as they can accelerate through the body transformation process much faster!

So, embrace your body, it’s amazing! It keeps you alive, and focussing on what you’re not is a massive emotional stressor.

For more body-image transformation, check out ‘Beyond the Body‘, and overcome negative body image at your own pace, in your own time.

Jen X