Read time: 5 minute read

Stumbling across some images from back in 2012 and it got me thinking about all the things I have learned since then. What stood out to me the most about this pic was my mindset – I remembered how I tried to cancel the shoot the night before because I thought I was ‘fat’, and I was way too embarrassed to stand in front of a camera

Obviously in hindsight, I can see that this isn’t the case. I am not ‘fat’ here. I wasn’t super lean, but I was 7kgs off my comp weight and would have been able to maintain this had I been approaching it in the right way.

It’s pretty sad how society has us believing that our bodies are a measure of our worth as women. At this point in my life I truly believed that. I was so caught up in getting the body I wanted, thinking that if I could just reach my goal it was going to make me happy. I was focusing on the superficial for so long that I forgot to give myself credit where credit was due. Actually, it didn’t even occur to me. By this time my body had battled so many things, from long-term calorie restriction, countless fad-diets, comp prep, anxiety, sadness, heartbreak, binge-eating, and all of that crazy self-talk that happens when you’re a girl standing in front of a mirror, comparing yourself to everyone else.

If I have learned anything worth sharing from my fitness journey it’s to never define yourself by the way you look, as we really don’t get to choose these things. Sure we can choose how we treat our bodies, we can become stronger, healthier and happier, and we can choose what we give back to the world, but the superficial things aren’t our choice; our features, our physical structure, our genetics, these are all given to us and we can only do our best to optimise them

Reality is, that although this was close to the best I ever looked, it’s not even close to the best I ever felt. I was afraid to eat anything other than meat, rice, protein powder, nuts, oats and veggies, I was obsessed with training, and no matter how much I did, and how much time i invested to achieving my goals, I was never satisfied. My mindset was a mess. I see women doing it all the time, realising a few months after the fact how far they had come from where they started. We often tend to focus on what they don’t have, rather that what we do have.

So if you’re on a transformation journey, do yourself a favour and pay attention to all the little things you achieve along the way. Don’t do anything extreme to achieve a superficial goal. Appreciate the little changes that happen, both inside and out. Understand transformation your body and mind takes time. Understand that dissatisfaction with your body comes from within, and changing your body won’t fix your mind. You can, however, empower yourself through nutrition and training and work on your mind while you work on your body, so you can become a healthier and happier woman all-round.

Be kind to yourself, and make sure you send it some serious love for what it ALREADY IS, because you’re doing a pretty good job just by being here!

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